These are (somewhat) minor things in life 🙂 but when it comes to the big stuff, like following a dream, pursuing a hobby that has tugged at your heart, moving to a place you’ve always wanted to live, or anything else that lights you up inside, I beg you – do not turn your back on it.
Oftentimes our blissful state of possibility is quickly shot down once the ‘Yeah, but’ chorus in our head chimes in. The chorus often sounds like:
I have a family to support now…I can’t just move to Bali!”
I’ve got a pretty solid reputation as an attorney, but my dream is to move to the woods and become a writer, what will everybody think?”
I’m a mother now, I’d feel guilty for focusing on anything other than my kids.”
I’m too old/too young.”
I don’t have enough money.”
I don’t have the experience.”
I don’t have the time.”
We humans are pretty universal in our ‘yeah, but’ thinking. And while our circumstances may differ, the core of our ‘yeah, buts’ stem from the same fears: fear in change/the unknown and the feeling that we can have (and deserve) this very thing that lights us up.
The key to working through our ‘yeah, buts’ is separating out what is fact from fiction. While our circumstances may be fact, the thought supporting the fact is often fiction. In other words, we may not be able to change our circumstances, but we can change the thoughts surrounding the circumstances.
For example, when I was thinking about moving to California one of my ‘yeah, buts’ was: ‘Yeah, but I have a mortgage to pay in Chicago, I can’t just move to California.”
Fact: I have a mortgage in Chicago
Thought: I can’t just move to California.
I can’t change the fact that I have a mortgage but I can change my thoughts about it being the reason for holding me back from moving. I worked on changing my thought by questioning it and looking for evidence that the very thing I wanted (to move) was possible while still having a mortgage. I asked myself: is it really true that having a mortgage is a reason I can’t move? Has anyone ever been able to move while also having a mortgage? These were the kind of questions I asked myself to work through the thought that I can’t move…because the truth was, I could! So, I got renters.
The next time something exciting pops in your head, and you feel the ‘yeah, buts’ coming up, separate out what you can and cannot change about your thought. You may not be able to change the circumstances but you can change how you think about them. Question your thought and choose to see what’s possible instead of what’s lacking. Then look for evidence of it being possible in others. Do some searching and I bet you’ll find people in the world doing the same kinds of inspiring, brave things that you want to do…and if they can do it, so can you.
It may take work and may not always be easy but things that matter most are always worth it on the other side.
What is that thing that tugs at your heart? Listen to it.
Be open to the idea that it is still possible.
If you can’t see it as possible, then it can’t be. You’ve got to believe it before you can see it, not the other way around.
And the truth is most things ARE possible. Anything that has ever been created in the world started out as a possibility in someone’s mind.
Start believing what you want is entirely possible and most importantly – THAT YOU DESERVE IT. Because you do.